The Road to Somewhere
by GuitardedAK
Summary: Lavenny Fic. Lenny learns that his mother has passed away and even though he didn't know her he wants to go to the funeral in Waterloo and asks Laverne to go with him.  better summary soon. Please Read and Review
1. The Road to Somewhere

**Authors Note: I do not own Laverne and Shirley or any characters from the show. I may introduce some original characters later on, but not any time soon**

** I will write these in script form and do them in episodes. I hope you enjoy.**

**Spoilers: Many, so if you haven't seen much of the show you might be a little confused.**

**Setting: **It's a Sunday morning and Laverne is still sleeping. Shirley hears a knock on the door and gets up to answer it. Minutes later, Shirley runs into their bedroom and jumps on Laverne's bed.

**Shirley: **Laverne..LAVERNE. Wake up. We have a problem. A tall, greasy problem!

**Laverne: **I didn't hear my alarm go off again? I'm gettin' up Shirl, just get off of me.

**Shirley:** No, Laverne. It's Sunday. We don't work on Sundays..

**Laverne: **Then why are you waking me up? You know I sleep until noon on Sunday's and it's only 8. Good night, Shirl.

**Shirley:** But LAVERNE. We have a problem in the living room and he won't stop sobbing.

Laverne sits up.

**Laverne: **He? My Pops? Carmine?

**Shirley:** No….Lenny….

Laverne lays back down

**Laverne: **Good night, Shirley. Wake me up at noon, okay?

**Shirley: **Laverne….he only wants to talk to you. Come on. Do you really want him sobbing on our couch while we're both asleep? Someone needs to go talk to him, and it's not going to be me. He just keeps pointing at the bedroom so he either wants to talk to you or….you know.

Laverne throws her legs off the side of the bed and puts a pair of slippers on with a sigh.

**Laverne: **Fine..but you owe me, Shirl.

Laverne walks out into the living room to see Lenny sitting on their couch with his head in his hands.

**Laverne: **Hey Len…you okay?

Lenny shakes his head, not looking up at Laverne.

**Laverne: **Come on, Len. I could still be sleepin', but I'm out here because Shirley said you wanted to talk to me. Tell me what's wrong.

Laverne sits down next to Lenny. He looks up at her. She notices that he's been crying a lot.

**Lenny: **Laverne..remember the time your dad wanted ya to go out to your ma's grave and ya didn't want to, and I talked to ya for a bit?

**Laverne: **Yeah, Len, I remember.

**Lenny: **Well, it's my mother. She died.

**Laverne:** But I thought you didn't know your mother..

**Lenny: **I didn't. But my father knew where she was. He didn't tell me cause he didn't want me to get my feelings hurt or nothin'. He called this mornin' and told me that she died..

He puts his head back in his hands.

**Laverne: **Aw, Len. I'm sorry. Is there anythin' we can do to help?

**Lenny: **Yeah, there is. Normally I would ask Squiggy but..well..

[pause]

**Laverne: **Well what?

**Lenny:** Well, he has a thing about dead bodies you see, and he don't think he could go to the funeral without pukin' all over the place.

**Laverne: **He can collect moths but he has a thing about dead cor-okay. Well, what do ya need me to do, Len?

**Lenny: **Well, since Squiggy won't go with me, I was hoping..you know..you would go with me. Not like a date or anythin'. I just need someone there with me, ya know?

**Laverne: **Aw Len, you know I'd wanna, but I dunno if I can. I mean…

**Lenny: **Please Laverne. I don't wanna go alone. If you'll do me this favor I'll leave ya be and stop hittin' on ya and stuff.

Laverne thinks about it for a moment.

**Laverne: **Let me talk to Shirl, okay? I'll come up to your apartment later and let ya know.

**Lenny: **Thanks, Laverne. You're a great friend.

He stands up and gives her a big hug, then exits the apartment.

**Laverne:** Shirl! SHIRL! We have a tall greasy problem!

Laverne runs into the bedroom, trying to wake Shirley up.

**[Commercial break]**

We return to the show to find Shirley sitting on the couch and Laverne getting out a bottle of milk and a Pepsi.

**Laverne: **What should I do, Shirl? I mean, I don't wanna let the guy down, ya know?

**Shirley:** Well _I_ think you should go. But that's just me. I mean, he was there for you on many occasions.

**Laverne:** He was there for the BOTH of us on many occasions. Why aren't you going too, huh?

**Shirley: **Because he didn't ask _me_ to go. He asked _you. _If he asked me to go I probably would, I guess..

**Laverne: **I guess there's no reason not ta go. Plus, Lenny said he'd stop hittin' on me.

**Shirley:** He WHAT? That means he'll hit on ME even more!

**Laverne: **Yep, I'm goin'.

Laverne quickly leaves the apartment before Shirley can respond with a big smile on Lavernes face. Not only would she have Lenny off her back, but it would be fun to see him torture her roommate. She runs upstairs to Lenny and Squiggy's apartment and knocks on the door. Squiggy answers.

**Squiggy:** (not his usual perky self) Hello…

**Laverne:** Hey Squiggy. Is Lenny here? I came up ta talk to him.

**Squiggy: **Yeah..he's here. Can ya fix him, Laverne? He's broken.

**Laverne: **I hope so, Squiggy. Can ya give me a sec alone with Lenny? Go down and see Shirley or somethin'.

Squiggy hurries downstairs to keep Shirley company and Laverne walks into the boys' apartment to find Lenny laying on the bottom bunk of the bed, staring up at the boards of the top bunk.

**Laverne:** Got pictures of naked girls up there or somethin', Len?

**Lenny: **Aw hey, Laverne. Jus' thinking. But how'd ya know there were pictures taped up there?

**Laverne: **Lucky guess…Look Len, about the funeral..

**Lenny: **Ya came up to tell me you're not gonna go with me, huh? Squiggy said it was stupid to ask and that you probly had somethin' more important ta do..

**Laverne: **Len..

Lenny interrupts her.

**Lenny:** But it's okay. I'll be fine alone, I think. I'm a strong guy..a Lone Wolf.

Laverne can start to her the upsetness in Lenny's voice.

**Laverne: **Lenny, I came up here to tell ya I'd go with ya..

**Lenny: **Really, Laverne? Really?

**Laverne: **Yeah. Len. Really.

**Lenny: **Thanks, Laverne. We leave tomorrow! I already talked to our boss.

**Laverne: **Tomorrow? How are we getting there? Where IS this funeral?

**Lenny:** I probably shoulda told you, huh? Well, it's in Waterloo and I'll be drivin'. We have a hotel room, too, so we don't haveta drive home in the dark.

**Laverne: **Please tell me that there are two beds in this hotel room.

**Lenny: **Well, I dunno about that, Laverne. I didn't really ask. Been kinda upset, ya know? I wanted ta get all the arrangements over with.

**Laverne:** Alright Len, tell ya what. I'm gonna go pack a bag for mornin'. When you're ready to go just come down to our apartment and knock on the door, okay?

**Lenny:** Okay. Thanks again, Laverne. It really means a lot to me, ya know. Ta have a friend there with me.

**Laverne:** I know, Len. See you in the morning.

Laverne leaves the apartment and walks back down to hers, wondering what the next few days would bring.

**[commercial break]**

It's the morning of Laverne and Lenny's departure to Waterloo. Shirley is helping Laverne finish packing her bag in the living room, as they wait for Lenny to come get Laverne.

**Shirley:** Laverne, do you _really_ need all of this stuff? I mean, you're only going to be there for a few days, aren't you?

**Laverne:** Only a few days, yeah, but ya never know when you're gonna need a sexy dress or a few heavy sweaters. It's winter, what if Lenny's truck breaks down, ya know? Can't be too careful, Shirl.

**Shirley:** I guess you're right. Let us both hope that you don't get stranded in the middle of nowhere and have to cuddle up to Lenny for heat. Yuck. All that hair tonic.

The girls both shudder in disgust. The door bursts open. Lenny and Squiggy enter.

**Squiggy:** Hello!

**Lenny:** Hey Laverne, ready to go? The truck is all warmed up and ready to go.

**Laverne:** Yeah, Len, just give me a sec to close my bag. Shirl, can ya give me a hand?

Shirley gets up off of the couch and sits on Laverne's over-stuffed bag so she can zip it up.

**Laverne:** Thanks.

**Shirley:** Next time…don't pack so much. Seriously, Laverne, you don't need half of this stuff.

**Laverne: **You never know when you're gonn—

Laverne is interrupted by Lenny..

**Lenny: **Hey, we should probly get goin', Laverne. We have a long day of drivin' ahead of us.

**Laverne: **Alright. See ya in a few days, Shirl. Squiggy, try to keep her company as much as ya can, okay?

**Squiggy: **Yes ma'am!

Shirley gives Laverne an angry look.

**Lenny: **Here, let me carry that for ya.

**Laverne: **You don't have to do that, Len. I can manage.

**Lenny: **Naw, I insist. Plus, you wouldn't wanna put it in the back of the truck once you saw whats back there..

Lenny grabs Laverne's bag and walks out the door, followed shortly by Laverne.

**[to be continued]**


	2. Onward to Waterloo

**Chapter/Episode 2 – Onward to Waterloo**

_**Lenny and Laverne have just embarked on their adventure to Waterloo, Wisconsin for Lenny's mothers' funeral. Lenny is driving an old truck and the heater is a bit shotty. Not the best conditions for a four hour drive in the middle of winter in Wisconsin.**_

**Lenny:** Well, we're off. Wanna listen to the radio or somethin'?

**Laverne**: Not right now, Len

**Lenny: **Good, cause it's broken.

**Laverne:** Is this as high as the heat goes? I'm freezin'.

**Lenny:** Yeah, it is…Squiggy tried to fix it this morrnin' but I think he made it worse..I can hear things rattling in the engine…..

**Laverne:** Figures..

**Lenny:** Do you wanna wear my jacket? It's not that warm or anythin', but it's better than nothin'.

_**Lenny uses his knees to drive the truck, taking his hands off the wheel to take his infamous "Lone Wolf" jacket off.**_

**Laverne: **Lenny! Hands on the wheel! Do you wanna kill us?

_**Lenny hands the jacket to Laverne**_

**Lenny: **Sorry. I just didn't want you to freeze, is all. Hands on the wheel at all times. Got it!

**Laverne:** Thanks. This isn't really how I pictured dyin', ya know? Thanks for the jacket, Len. But aren't you cold?

**Lenny:** Naw. I'm used to the cold. I end up blanketless at night because Squiggy somehow manages to take my blanket in his sleep. He must be sleep walkin' again or somethin'. Gettin' it back is like…wrestlin' with a rabid animal. I got used to sleepin' without it….in the cold..

_**Laverne laughs at the thought.**_

**Laverne: **Hey Len, can we stop at the next gas station? I need to use the ladies room..

**Lenny:** We just left. Didn't your father teach ya to go before you leave?

**Laverne:** I didn't have ta go then….

**Lenny:** You're lucky then, Laverne, here's a gas station. Hurry up, we don't have all day..

_**Lenny pulls into the gas station and Laverne runs in to use the restroom. She returns with a bag of chips and 2 Pepsi's.**_

**Laverne:** Here, I got ya somethin'.

_**Laverne hands Lenny one of the Pepsi's**_

**Lenny: **Thanks. Ready to go? I wanna get there before it gets dark.

**Laverne: **Ready as I'll ever be..

**Lenny:** Aw, come on Laverne, it's not gonna be that bad. I mean, my family is a little strange but I think you'll fit in just fine. There was this one time where my father took me fishin' insteada makin' me go to school, which actually happened a lot. But this particular day was different. He rowed us out into the middle of the lake and before we started fishin' he said to me, "Leonard, you're a special kid and you're very smart. You're gonna be a real ladies man when you grow up. Don't let anyone tell ya otherwise." That's probly why I am the way I am now, huh, Laverne?

**[silence]**

**Lenny: ** Laverne?

_**Lenny looks over at Laverne who has her head tiled back on the back of the seat, fast asleep.**_

**Lenny: **I didn't think I was that boring..Thats gonna kill her neck..

_**Lenny puts his arm around Laverne and pulls her head off of the back of the seat and lays it gently on his shoulder, not removing his arm from around her.**_

**Lenny:**Shes not gonna notice if I don't have both hands on the wheel if shes sleepin'.

_**Lenny chuckles to himself.**_

**[commercial break]**

_**Laverne and Lenny have almost made it all the way to Waterloo. Laverne slept on Lenny's shoulder the whole way. Suddenly, Lenny hits a pothole in the road, which jolts Laverne awake. She quickly sits up, not quite aware of her surroundings.**_

**Laverne: **Shirl, what have I told you about jumpin' on my bed while I'm sleepin'?

**Lenny:** Mornin' sunshine.

_**Lenny smiles at the half awake Laverne.**_

**Lenny:** We're almost there, Laverne. You've been sleepin' the whole time. And let me tell you, you're even beautiful when you're droolin'.

_**Lenny points at a small damp spot on his shirt. Laverne turns red.**_

**Lenny:** Only a few more miles till we're there. The funeral isn't till tomorrow, but I'm pretty tired from drivin' and all, so I thought we'd just go straight to the hotel.

**Laverne: **Sounds good, Len. Sorry about your shirt.

**Lenny: **Aw, it's okay Laverne. This one hasn't been washed in a week anyway. It was Squiggy's week and he didn't do it. Somethin' about not believing in laundry on the 3rd week of the month due to religious views. I don't get it myself.

**Laverne:** You do have a clean suit for the funeral, doncha, Len?

**Lenny:** Yeah. I made sure that it was clean. I couldn't find it at first, so Squiggy offered to let me borrow his good "date" suit, but I said no.

**Laverne:** His pants would be like shorts on you..

**Lenny:** I didn't think of that..I said no because I don't know where that suits been. He could roll around in the gutter in it for all I know.

**[pause]**

**Lenny:** Ah, here we are. Let me go check in and get the key.

_**Lenny parks the car in front of the hotel to check in and go get the key, leaving Laverne in the car. He quickly returns.**_

**Lenny:** Here's the key, Laverne. We're in room 7. Go ahead and go in, and I'll grab our stuff.

_**Lenny parks the car in a spot in from of their hotel room. He gets out of the truck and runs around it while Laverne is gathering all of her stuff, and opens the door for her.**_

**Laverne:** Aw, thanks Len, but I coulda got it.

_**Lenny shrugs and smiles sweetly at Laverne.**_

**Lenny:** Go on in, I'll see ya in a minute.

_**Laverne nods at Lenny and makes her way into the hotel room as Lenny grabs the suitcases. The hotel room is small, but clean, and much to Laverne's displeasure, it only has one bed. There is a small TV, a few dressers, and a small bathroom with no lock on the door. **_

**Laverne: **This is the only room they had available?

**Lenny: **I asked if they had any others with two beds, but they're booked up. I guess theres a horseshoe tournament goin' on or somethin'.

_**Laverne puts on a fake smile for Lenny, not sure how the sleeping arrangements are going to go. She opens her suitcase and takes out a yellow towel with a purple "L" on it, and hangs it up in the bathroom. She emerges from the bathroom to find Lenny sprawled out on the bed on his back, passed out. **_

**Laverne: **Poor guy must be exhausted.

_**Laverne stands there for a moment with her hands on her hips, trying to think up a creative solution for the sleeping arrangements without waking Lenny up. **_

**Laverne: **Aha! I knew all of these clothes would come in handy.

_**Laverne takes all of her clothes out of her suitcase, except for her dress for the funeral, and lays them folded on the floor making them slightly resemble a makeshift bed. She returns to her suitcase and notices a black blob at the bottom. She takes it out and realizes it's Shirleys Booboo Kitty.**_

**Laverne:** BooBoo Kitty? What are you doing here? Shirl must have packed you for me so I wouldn't get homesick or somethin'. Well, whatever the case, you'll make a good pillow.

_**Laverne looks over at Lenny who has rolled over on to his stomach and smiles. She shuts the lone light in the hotel room off and lays down on her bed, or lack thereof. **_

**Laverne: **(_whispers_) Night, Len.

**[commercial break]**

_**Laverne is fast asleep on the floor, laying on her back, snoring louder that one would think is possible for a woman which wakes Lenny up. He puts a pillow over his head to try to muffle the sound of her snoring, but fails. He looks over at the clock on the small dresser which reads 2:30AM. Knowing that he needs to get sleep for the day ahead, he decides to switch places with Laverne in hopes that she would stop snoring or at least quiet down a little so he could fall back to sleep. **_

_**Lenny crawls out of bed and sits on the edge, watching Laverne for a moment. He quietly gets up and slips one arm under her legs, and the other under her neck and carefully picks her up off of the ground. He gently places her on the bed on her back and lays down on her makeshift bed. He tosses and turns for a few minutes, then realizes that he's not going to be able to fall asleep, mostly because his legs hang off the edge of the "bed". He gets up and walks to the bathroom, taking BooBoo Kitty with him, closing the door behind him.**_


End file.
